Why We Can’t HEAR Each Other!

🗣️ “𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑!” 🗣️

🗣️ “𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑!” 🗣️

🤬 “𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃!” 🤬

🤬 “𝐍𝐎, 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃!” 🤬

Are you tired of the back-and-forth arguing? 🙋♂

Are you tired that others cannot seem to understand your point of view? 🙋

I hope with this post, by illustrating the current trends, it will help us better understand why people think the way they do. ⬇️

Let me add: This post is NOT for sharing my political views. The only bias I wish to promote in this post is Empathy. 🙌

(Please note what I’m about to present are HUGE generalizations in terms of political leanings, so please consider this but a limited framework. Nevertheless, I hope it can provide some clarity. 😊)

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to see the crime of George Floyd as driven more by systemic racism. If one is right-leaning, one tends to see the crime of George Floyd as driven more by police brutality.

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to support Black Lives Matter. If one is right-leaning, one tends to support Blue/All Lives Matter.

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to see racism as systemic and institutionalized. If one is right-leaning, one tends to see racism as occurring but as being overly exaggerated/a moral panic.

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to recommend African American thinkers like Ta-Nehisi Coates and Ibram X. Kendi. If one is right-leaning, one tends to recommend African American thinkers like Thomas Sowell and Shelby Steele.

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to focus on the instances of police mistreatment being done towards protesters. If one is right-leaning, one tends to focus on the instances of people rioting and looting local businesses.

📌 If one is left-leaning, one tends to sympathize and offer care to the less fortunate and those they see as oppressed. If one is right-leaning, one tends to advocate for personal responsibility, self-reliance, and rejecting victimhood mentality.

📌 If one is left-leaning, some favorite scapegoats may include: “the 1%”, “patriarchy”, “privilege”, “power structures”, and “white supremacy”. If one is right-leaning, some favorite scapegoats may include: “the elite globalists”, “government regulation”, “immigration”, “social justice warriors”, and “cultural Marxism”.

Again, this is a VERY general framework. But depending on where you are on the political spectrum is going to be a BIG factor in how you perceive the current circumstances. 👀

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬: 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞. 𝐖𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰𝐬, 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐟𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬. 👤

It’s the reason why some people are emphasizing “Black Lives Matter” while some people are emphasizing “All Lives Matter”. 💡

Let’s give an example…

2 people go to the theater to watch a movie. They both sit side-by-side and watch the movie in full. 🎬

When the movie is over, both people walk out of the theater ready to share their opinions…🗣️

Person 1: “That movie was AWESOME!” 🤩

Person 2 is shocked: “What?! That movie was DUMB!” ❌

Person 1 is annoyed: “What, HOW could you say that?!” 🤬

Person 2 is flabbergasted: “How could YOU praise such a trashy movie!?” 🤬

Remember: BOTH people saw the exact same movie! Side-by-side! 😕

So how did they come up with 2 polar opposite opinions of the same film? 🤔

𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞.

We all carry past experiences, beliefs, and values, and they in turn influence how we see the things around us, including movies. 👀

Think of it like this: each person is wearing a different pair of glasses, and these glasses are magnifying or shrinking certain parts of what a person focuses on. 👓

Person 1 said the movie was “AWESOME” because they loved the action sequences they focused on. 🤩

Person 2 said the movie was “DUMB” because they focused on how the film was all action and little story. ❌

The exact same movie. Two different interpretations. 🙌

THIS is why:

😱 Some of my friends cannot fathom how another person can emphasize “Black Lives Matter” over “All Lives Matter”.

😱 Some of my friends cannot fathom how another person can emphasize “All Lives Matter” over “Black Lives Matter”.

Is it just because they’re a “social justice warrior”? 🤬

Is it just because of their “white privilege”? 🤬

Instead of making assumptions, I encourage us all to instead ask: “Why?” 🤔

I encourage us all to start asking more questions and making less assumptions, 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐝.

That’s how we use the Power of Empathy. 🙌

In his book “The Righteous Mind”, social psychologist Jonathan Haidt emphasizes 1 key point he’s learned in all his decades of research into Morality ⬇️:

💬 “𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬. 𝐈𝐭 𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞. 𝐈𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲.” 💬

In helping us better understand each other, Haidt shares his Moral Foundations Theory.

The idea is that we each carry 6 moral taste buds:

1. 𝘾𝙖𝙧𝙚/𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙢 — 𝙒𝙚 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙪𝙘𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙖𝙨 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙖𝙨 𝙬𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣.❤️

2. 𝙁𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨/𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 — 𝙒𝙚 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮 𝙗𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙩. 💰

3. 𝙇𝙤𝙮𝙖𝙡𝙩𝙮/𝘽𝙚𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙮𝙖𝙡 — 𝙒𝙚 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙖 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙥 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙥 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙞𝙩. 👥

4. 𝘼𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙮/𝙎𝙪𝙗𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 — 𝙒𝙚 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧, 𝙨𝙤 𝙬𝙚 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙠𝙚𝙚𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙚𝙩𝙮 𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙯𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚. 🚓

5. 𝙎𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙮/𝘿𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 — 𝙒𝙚 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨, 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙪𝙧𝙘𝙝, 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙨𝙮𝙢𝙗𝙤𝙡, 𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙖𝙧𝙙. 🙌

6. 𝙇𝙞𝙗𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙮/𝙊𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 — 𝙒𝙚 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙤𝙢𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙤𝙢. ✊

Haidt says we each carry these 6 moral taste buds, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲.

He’s not here to argue which combinations of taste buds are better or worse, only to say that they exist, and that they also heavily influence our political leanings. ☯️

For example, those who tend to be left-leaning often have Care/Harm and Fairness/Cheating as their highest moral taste buds. These 2 moral taste buds tend to be disproportionately higher than all the others. 🔝

But when it comes to those who are right-leaning, the moral taste buds tend to be more evenly distributed. ⚖️

So, the next time you’re in a disagreement with someone, I challenge you to keep an ear out for these moral taste buds in the words of others. 👂

Use these moral taste buds not just to better understand how others think but also to better understand your own moral worldview. 🤔

Take COVID-19 as another example of the moral taste buds at play. 💡

Remember how some people were more focused on the economy while other people were more focused on the loss of individual lives? 👍

It’s not that economists didn’t care about human life. It’s also not that healthcare professionals didn’t care about the effects on the economy. The difference was in which moral taste buds they placed as being more important. 😲

In other words…

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐞’𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐝𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐖𝐞’𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬.

Having friends on both sides of the political spectrum, I can tell you: BOTH SIDES agree the crime of George Floyd was awful and condemn it. ❌

The difference is in how each side interprets the severity of the situation and how we should be responding to it. 🗺️

That’s why we need to come together and understand each other’s points of view on this. Otherwise, we’re going to keep making the same mistake of assuming everyone thinks exactly the same way we do. 😩

They don’t. 🙌

𝐈’𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐇 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. 💯

Focusing on problems doesn’t solve problems; focusing on solutions creates solutions. And I hope with this post I can be a part of that solution. 🙌

🚨 Imposing our self-righteousness onto others, whether it’s using guilt, shame, or emotional intimidation, is NOT a helpful long-term solution.

🚨 Refusing to set aside our ideological echo chambers for the sake of comfort sets a DANGEROUS precedent for how we as a country collectively handle our problems in the future.

In times where polarization is high, cynicism is high, distrust is high, and tribalism is high, it’s crucial that all of us continue emphasizing the importance of civility with each other. 💬

Because it is SO EASY for us not to do so now is the very reason I emphasize it. I know I’m going against the Outrage Train by even saying this. 💯

Why? Because 𝐈’𝐦 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 😊

Because that’s the beauty of the United States being a pluralistic society:

📌 A society where we can have one party who thinks the movie was “AWESOME!” and another party who thinks the movie was “DUMB!”

📌 A society where two opposing parties can have a civil discussion over the movie, find places where they agree, and seek compromise on the places they disagree.

Perhaps my thinking is overly optimistic and idealistic. But for me, hope has always been a good thing. ❤️

Consider this post a friendly reminder to continue focusing on empathy and solutions, even when it’s not easy. 👍

Because I know 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬. 😨

So…let’s do it together! 🙂

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